guy:

sometimes i forget how old i am and i try to do things i used to do as a kid and i just

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(Source: guy)

cyndecisive:

pros to dating me:

  • i’ll actually respond to ur text
  • u can literally kiss me whenever u want (esp random neck kisses like yes please)
  • we can hold hands
  • butt touches
  • cuddles? ? ? yes good
  • i’ll play with your hair or vise versa
  • u don’t have to worry about me liking other people bc i’m annoyed by almost everyone
  • smooches

(Source: radgoku)

thefourteenthdoctor:

watchtheskytonight:

spirit-of-the-ocean:

my uncle used to be one of those people who drove dead people to cemeteries and such 

then he became a taxi driver and the person he was driving tapped his shoulder to ask a question and my uncle screamed really loud

IT’S BACK

I’m sure that’s what he thought.

(Source: leannaheart)

i’m so afraid of marriage like what if you marry someone and like have kids with them and then they decide they don’t love you anymore or something idk man but that shit is scary

(Source: hate)

  • me: i really need to stop swearing
  • 20 seconds later: where the fuck is my goddamn shitbitch pencil

assbut-and-cumberbooty:

talk dirty to me

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straightprivileges:

terms to use instead of sex (which is a bad word don’t use it):

  • the do
  • dingle dangle
  • frick frack
  • fondue
  • woohoo
  • happy happy fun time
  • coitus 
  • fornication 
  • copulation
  • intercourse

(Source: pissybrat)